When Abiye “Abby” first connected with BACS in September 2020, stability felt like a distant dream. For years, housing had been uncertain—moving from place to place, staying in a hotel, and navigating the daily stress of not having a place to truly call home. But in December 2024, everything changed. With the help of BACS, Abby moved into a new home near Lake Merritt, a space that finally felt safe, comfortable, and his own.
The transition wasn’t immediate. “The first year was just shock—Oh My God, I finally have a place of my own,” Abby recalls. The second year, I was still getting used to the fact that my housing was stable and consistent. And then, finally, it sunk in: I belong here. I’m part of society.”
For Abby, getting housed wasn’t just about finding a place to live—it was about reclaiming control over his life. Before BACS, he jumped at the first available housing opportunity just to escape hotel living. In hindsight, he realized that having choice matters, and through BACS’ support, he found a space that truly worked for his well-being.
Learning to Set Boundaries
With housing came another important lesson: boundaries. “I started treating my house like a castle, and I’m the king,” he says. “I make the decisions, and I respect my space. If someone doesn’t respect my house, they don’t respect me—so I cut them out of my life.”
In the past, Abby found himself trusting too easily, allowing people into his life who didn’t always have his best interests at heart. Now, he’s more selective. “I pick and choose who I allow in my space. If they’re not family or close friends, I keep them at a distance. Housing is too precious to risk. I’ve learned to hold it close and protect it.”
Setting Goals and Rebuilding Relationships
With stable housing, Abby also noticed a shift in his relationships. “When you have stable housing, people see you differently. There’s more respect. People I’ve known for ten years started coming around again, and I was able to reconnect.”
But he’s also careful about how he nurtures relationships. “I keep people at arm’s length when needed, but I still invite them into my life—just in a different way. Instead of always having people in my home, we meet up for activities outside. I’ve learned to enjoy my space, to decorate it, to cook, to have hobbies that make me happy. My house became a stepping stone for self-expression.”
Looking Toward the Future
Abby isn’t just surviving—he’s thriving. At 44, he’s embracing new opportunities, including pursuing an education in data analysis. With the help of an educational scholarship, he’s taking a statistics class and learning computer skills that will help him break into the tech field. “I’m surrounded by like-minded people, making friends, and building something for myself,” he shares.
His goals don’t stop there. With his own kitchen, Abby has started cooking healthier meals—baked chicken with potatoes, carrots, and broccoli, and experimenting with different spaghetti sauces. “Now that I have my own space, I use it. I cook, I take care of my home, and I make sure it always feels like a place I want to be.”
And perhaps most importantly, Abby wants to inspire others who are on the same path he once walked. “If I can help future clients by sharing my success story, I will. Because it is possible to get through this, to come out the other side, and to build a life that makes you proud.”
On a scale of one to ten? Abby gives himself a ten. And he’s just getting started.
